juggling 1

Assalamualaikum and good day lovelies!~ :)

Alhamdulillah  dan syukur.

Though siang tadi aku macam pause sekejap, sebab rasa macam pressed down. tertekan dengan hal ehwal rumah. entah apa aku fikir, entah apa yang menekankan aku. aku tak tahu.

bila dah diam,sambil layan senak perut, aku spend masa untuk koreksi emosi.

salah satunya... berkenaan luahan perasaan student. cikgu, saya terdengar perbualan mak saya dan kawannya. katanya dia lebih suka saya tak ada kawan, sebab bila tak ada kawan, saya boleh perform study.

Well, kids. I had the same experience, and you triggered me. but it's okay ,kita practice cara nak solve, since we are adult now.

i said, its hurt kan. we need friends. we need social life. we need interaction with friends. 

just talk with them, create beautiful bond with them.

as for me.....

a bit susah to mingle with jiran ni... aku sendiri yang not open to talk with them..

but i have so many options to talk with my new coding teammates, my fyp students, lecturers, practice interaction with human..

and most of all, i need to care about my food intake. 

i am thinking to buy chicken je ni...sebab terinspirasi dengan lina's plate. 

so far, ayam, timun and also lettuce. ok kot ya..

so nak stop garam gula, and start focus on exercise.... 

erm...i think, i have to start with exercise.. and manage time proper.....

its time to focus on myself and to walk my talk.

 yes, i can do this....!!!

ok malam ni, malam ni wajib tengok second vid iqbal. hantar jurnal.

then baru i boleh tido.

esok pagi, wake up with a dose of coffee. i'm intend to buy coffee... coffee apa yang sedap ya...

 or maybe i could try, cold brew coffee ;)

pape jer la. 

ok, masih serabut ni. hai yaiyaiii..

kk  fokus vid.

Process emotion and decide new route for self-improvement 01

Assalamualaikum and good day lovelies!~ :)

Alhamdulillah . harini dah selesai appointment dengan Dr kulit. Well, sepatutnya esok weh. tapi entah macam mana aku ingat hari ini ialah 3 Sept. Maybe sebab ingat 1 Sep adalah hari Isnin.lulz.

Sepatutnya Dr perlu spray di tempat bekas ketuat (jari kelingking kiri) esok, tapi dah eden datang harini, dan Dr cakap tak perlu la mai esok. cuma tengok dalam masa 2 bulan ni, jadi lagi tak. sebab tendency untuk naik balik tu ada.

Macam tak faham sangat tadi apa yang staf di kaunter cakap, which means, aku tak perlu pun datang harini, aku patut datang esok. Tapi aku pulak faham apa yang nurse in the last appoitment cakap, next time jumpa Dr dulu sebelum nak spray. 

Entah weh. serabut serabut.

Aku perlu lebih banyak practice bertenang kan.

Okay.....so sekarang ni aku rasa banyak betoi benda dalam pinggan aku .

which i kinda like it since most of it is about improving me. thesis, tutor, tsa, sewing. love kan.

Pagi ini aku baca entri di Twitter Dr Alizi Alias.

Kita tak perlu bina self-esteem untuk capai kejayaan jangka panjang. Kita perlu kejayaan-kejayaan jangka pendek untuk bina self-esteem.

Elakkan kursus/buku motivasi yang tak saintifik.

Mulakan dengan penghargaan terhadap kejayaan-kejayaan kecil kita dan juga orang lain. pic.twitter.com/kWL74f2qtE

— Dr Alizi Alias, Organizational Psychologist (@DrAliziAlias) September 1, 2020

In order untuk aku nak stay confidence, i have to do few small success... Alhamdulillah, so far i could feels that every second is a chance for me to better myself. Walau tadi rasa macam , 'eh apa la aku ni, datang awal sehari, tak perasan tarikh.' but i pujuk myself, there will be better like this. since i am here dah pun. redah je la, unless kalau staff tu cakap, boleh datang esok tak?, then aku undur diri je.

i have to do something with this tarikh thingy.... i plan to print out date in an A4 paper dan tampal kat bilik. Date and Day, and i will tear it of before sleep.
one of reason i am becoming forgetful is because i didnt have enough sleep these day and does not practice sleep hygiene properly.
i miss my deep sleep time... oh yeah, i need my omega 3 fix. had finish them last month.
this time i wanna topup with magnesium, zink and also vit C.

Apart from this, today i search for affect of complain to brain. Mind-blown! Stop complaining—it's making you dumber.
Fuh terasa amat weh. These past few months memang la sangat sangat intense dengan blame-complain issue ni. Little did i know, it affect my brain. Sigh.
It weaken it. Huwaaaaaa. I cry hard inside.

THE BEST way to avoid is by changing my environment totally. FULL STOP.
THIS IS THE BIG WHY, AL. THIS IS THE BIGGEST REASON YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR OWN LIVING AND BE INDEPENDENT.

As of now, I am still need to rely on the roof and the space that I have since my financial is still not enough to move forward.
HEnce, the second best way is to do my work in library. like today, i feels so much good vibes. alhamdulillah. one thing at a time al.
I only read the title, not yet the content. sure i will have my own say after reading those text.

NEXT SOLUTION  is to always be mindful, always and always. this is where i need the help of supplements! there will be specific allocation for supplements in my next income.

as for my spiritual, it is vital for me to have a read of Mathurat every day. must.
and i can start with Quran Hour session for Tafsir Al fatihah. go go alia. inshaAllah . All is well